Confessions of a Fauf

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Try Outs

So the cat is basically out of the bag about my moving up to Santa Maria. I am very excited. But there is one thing that is starting to worry me a little. It has to do with my gift for quoting movies. Don't laugh. It is a gift because as I have come to discover, not everyone can do it. I will be leaving my sister who is my greatest quoting companion. I must find other quoting companions so I do not have to call her up all the time to let off some quotes.
Anyways, I need to start scouting for good movie quoters that I can hang out with when I move to Santa Maria. So I am holding Quoters' Try-outs. Please list your top favorite quotes and the movies they are from. Then try to guess which movies the following quotes are from. They range from common to obscure. Ready...set.... GO!

1. "I am your father!"
2. "Do not cite the deep magic to me, Witch! I was there when it was written."
3. "You never learned to mind your surroundings!"
4. "It's called a lance, hello!"
5. "What we do in life echoes in eternity!"

Monday, March 27, 2006

Oh the Randomness of It All!

I know that God is in control of my life, of the future, of my circumstances. And I know that God is a God of order. So then why have I been encountering random moments? Perhaps it's God's sense of humor. Or perhaps it's just me thinking they are random because I don't usually notice these things. Or perhaps....I don't know, but I've decided to keep a record of random moments of my life.

1. A mallard duck swimming in my apartment pool. It glanced at me, quacked, and paddled across the pool. The nerve of some ducks!
2. A 79 year old man from Holland sitting across from me at Barnes and Noble. He asked me what I was reading. I told him my Bible. This launched a discussion of languages, capitalism, and bratty children--don't ask how they related but somewhow they did!
3. A teenager whizzing past the office window on a little buzzing scooter, going at least 5 mph--on the sidewalk!
4. My student Arian noticing and commenting "Miss Drazin has blemishes". She found me out--I am not perfect!
5. A man pretending to bump his nose on a door I just opened--for a moment I was horrified, thinking his face will never be the same. Then he laughed, thank goodness!

Isn't life fun?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Where Is My Heart?

I feel like I just got home from a mission trip. If you have been on a mission trip, you know the feeling. If you have not, then I will try to explain it.
When you get home from a mission trip, you usually have a bigger culture shock at home than you do overseas. You walk around for a few days as if in a daze as you try to come off the high of the mission trip. All you can think about is the great places you explored, the native people you connected with, and the amazing miracles God did. You long to go back, feeling a connection overseas, and feeling as if you are the alien at home. You were taken from your familiar comfort zone; and you realize once you're back in it that it isn't really a zone, but a box...a box you don't quite fit anymore. What has happened to you? Simple. You left your heart overseas.

I have not returned from a mission trip, but I feel like I have. Over the weekend, I explored new places, I connected with incredible people, and I witnessed God's Hand move in amazing ways. And now I am back in my box...a box I don't fit anymore. I am realizing I don't belong here anymore. I am walking around in a daze, missing everything over there. What has happened to me? Simple.

I left my heart in Santa Maria.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Confessions of a Fauf

This past weekend I was victim to the ever nasty ever ugly COLD. My family had been passing it around for two weeks, but I had steered clear of them. Then last Thursday night, having been reassured that the bug had left the Drazin house, I ventured over for dinner. BIG MISTAKE. After hanging out with them, I headed back home. And I had no sooner gotten into my car and left the Drazin house, when I felt...what was this? A scratchy throat? I was sure it was nothing to be alarmed of. WRONG! To say the least, I caught a cold in a matter of 24 hours and spent my weekend with it. Being the ever optimistic person that I try to be and being the ever organized person I am who likes lists, I decided to make a list of the top ten reasons why it may actually be fun to be sick (as long as it does not exceed a weekend's time. Thankfully, I was back to work today, sounding horrible but feeling okay).
1. You have a legitimate excuse for looking like a bum
2. You can veg on the couch in front of the TV without any guilt whatsoever
3. People actually encourage you to be a vegging bum (even those people in your life who usally condemn you for it)
4. You can impersonate deeper voices
5. You don't have to take out the trash because you can't smell anyting rotten, or anything for that matter
6. You have a natural blush to your cheeks--no make-up needed
7. You get an extra dose of prayers from everyone
8. You have an excuse for not talking to people who annoy you
9. You have crazy dreams instigated by NyeQuil
10. You get to write a silly blog like mine!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Ten Things to Replace Movies

It's come to my attention recently that the current movies in the theater have not been worth our time and money. As a contributor to society, I believe it is my duty to offer everyone alternative sources of entertainment. Here is my list. Feel free to add to it from either your own experience or your own fantasies.
1. Call your loan lender and choose menu options
2. Try on ridiculous shoes at Payless in a most serious manner
3. Compose a poem on your bathroom mirror with lipstick
4. Take a walk through your neighborhood and rate all the houses from 'You couldn't pay me to live there' to 'I'll pay any price for it!'
5. Count your teeth (so if you ever lose any, you'll know how many you have left)
6. Go fly a kite
7. Hit two coconuts together and gallop down the street
8. Take tuba lessons
9. Lay out a world map, toss a penny onto it, and look up airfare to whichever country the penny lands on
10. Spend hours on your own blog creating ridiculous lists of entertainment

Monday, March 06, 2006

Voices in My Head

I've heard a lot of voices in my head today. Nothing to be alarmed of--they are pefectly normal voices, though I am not sure how human. I've had to call my loan lenders to straighten out a little problem. It's a huge company, so when I call them, I am given a huge list of menu options to choose from to better direct my call. The problem is, the list is so long (like 9 options, each option for like three different questions you might have). So by the time I listen to the whole list and finally figure out into which category my question fits, I forget the number of the menu option I need. Then I dial operator because I would much rather talk to a real human voice than an automated voice attempting to be human. When I push 0 for operator, the inhuman (and borderline inhumane--it is a little mean) tells me that is not an option. Amazingly I do end up selecting an option, and amazingly I do get a real human voice on the other end. We talk, she sounds like she doesn't understand my question, so she transfers (always a taboo word on the phone) me to a more qualified voice. But that qualified voice is busy, so its stand-in inhuman(e) voice tells me to call back later! This is very frustrating for two reasons: I don't have all the time in the world, and I don't know how to get back to the qualified voice I am supposed to talk to because I've heard so many other voices in my head! Maybe I should hire someone to be my head for a day. Anybody interested?

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Finding Someone

In this great wide world, can there really be someone who understands you? Can there really be someone who compliments you, who brings out the best in you, and inspires you to be better? Can there really be someone who embodies your prayers and dreams from years past? Can there really be someone who cherishes you, honors you, and adores you? Can there really be someone who brings such joy to your life that you constantly praise God for him? In this great wide world, is possible to even find such a person?

I regard myself as very blessed, for I have found that someone. That someone is...