Confessions of a Fauf

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Opening Line

It is official: I am now a permanent resident of the beautiful town of Santa Maria! The moving is over, sweating is over, and thank God the good-byes are over. (Saying good bye is very taxing on oneself). Now there is only decorating, cool breezes, and wonderful hello's! So to inaugurate this time of new beginnings, let me open my new life here with some great opening lines from the cinema:

"If you enjoy stories about clever and reasonably attractive orphans, mysterious fires, Secret organizations, carnivorous leeches, and Italian food, then stay as I retrace each of the woeful steps of the Baudilaire orphans." --Lemony Snicket

"Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up." -- Batman Begins

"What is my story? Are you sure you want to know? It is not a story for the faint of heart." --Spiderman 1

"I'll be there for you, cuz I've been there before"-- Friends

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Last Line

It is down to the last hour of my residency here in Southern California, specifically Redlands and Yucaipa. For the past three days I have taken up temporary residence at the Drazin house, where I have hung out with my family (or what's left of them--Noelle and Eric are on mission trips, Micah and Dad work during the day, so that leaves me and Mom and Andrew and the two puppies). I've been sleeping on top of Noelle's bed because it's too bloggin' hot to sleep in it. Everywhere we go, including the bathroom, we take an electric fan with us. The only time we venture outside is when the sun is going down. We sit on the lawn and play with Skye and Beau (the pups) who are very lively at that time of the day. It's been great fun sweating the days away...NOT. And I've been sick. What a way to leave home with a bang. But despite the physical discomforts, it has been a blessed last few days at home. So now as I prepare to leave for my new home tomorrow, I've decided to come up with some last lines of good-bye for S. Cal. However, it is too hot to be creative, so I will just steal some great last lines from the silver screen!

"Because all children grow up. Except one."--Wendy Darling

"After all, tomorrow is another day!"--Scarlet O'Harra

"May the Force be with you. Always."--Star Wars

"To infinity, and beyond!"--Buzz Lightyear

"Now, bring me that horizon!"--Jack Sparrow

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

I never thought moving could be such hard work. And until this week I didn't know it would make my top list of the top most hard-workish activities.

5. Kick-boxing class
4. Taking care of a household
3. High-maintenance friends
2. MOVING--includes cleaning, packing, loading, driving, unloading, arranging, etc. (espcially within a 48-hr time frame)
1. Yard work

I have had some people assure me that this list will change as I go through life. I have no doubt. In a few weeks my list could look like this:

5. Keeping long-distance friendships
4. Doing laundry
3. Teaching 3rd grade
2. Navigating through Santa Maria
1. Finding faults in Michael (I still doubt he has any)

Then in 5-10 years my list could look like this:

5. Losing baby weight
4. Housework
3. Budgeting household finances
2. Taking care of babies--small children
1. Planning dates with my husband

So I guess in the grand scope of life and all things hard-workish, my current list of hard-workish activities is as easy as it's going to get. I better live it up!

PS A few thanks are in order to those who assisted me in the hard work of moving:
Mom: thank you for helping me pack, for expertly packing the U-HAUL trailer, for being a supermom
Lisa: for hauling the trailer, driving me up so SM, for being a great friend
Michael: for helping me unload, for packing your car with my stuff and putting it in the apart. last week, for the roses and sweet card
Parker: for helping me unload all my ridiculous stuff, for leaving comments on my blog again, for going to see a scary movie with us that turned out to be silly
Andrew: for helping to take things from the trailer into my room (otherwise known as unloading), for letting me buy you coffee Americano, for being a fun guy to hang out with
Jenn: for leaving me a welcoming note on my mirror, for coming to see a movie about some weird lady in the water, for bringing me up to date on 'Anchorman'

Thursday, July 13, 2006



I feel so out of the loop with the whole bloggin' world (that kind of sounds like a swear word. I may start using that in sentences of extreme emotion such as "It is so bloggin' hot here!" or "I miss Michael so bloggin' much!")

So I wrote a blog last week sometime...maybe even the week before (see blog titled 'The Secret Identity of the Fauf'). But the computer I was using at the Smiley library wouldn't publish it for the life of me! (By the way, I'm thinking of submitting the name Smiley Library to Lemony Snicket because it so sounds like a place the Baudelaire orphans would have more unfornate events.)I had every intention of returning to finish posting the blog. But a funny thing happened....

Smiley Library was eaten by the 'Cragon' because those seemingly innocent antique librarians had a debt to pay to ol' Davy Jones

Hard to believe? Okay fine, that wasn't the case, instead...

I discovered that the Smiley Library was really an operation center for the KGB and painfully I had to destroy it

Still not convinced? Alright...

There was an evil mutant who took control of the library. I am recruiting all mutants to help me regain control--

Stop laughing. Fine, the truth...

Those under the spell of summer vacation (namely, me) lose all concept of time and before they know it, they are left with no more time. So there you have it. I am back in the bloggin' world!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Secret Identity of the Fauf

I've been really living up the whole summer vacation thing to the fullest. I've been hanging out with friends, taking trips out of town, swimming and getting a tan, consuming large quanities of Otter Pops and Starbuck's new Tangerine frappicinos (excellent by the way), and staying up late. Another thing I've been doing is spending time with my sister Noelle as much as I can. We are not shallow people and we do enjoy each other's company, but most of our hanging out time has consisted of watching our fave show ALIAS. We have seasons 1-4 on DVD. A few weeks ago we started an ALIAS marathon. Each season has approx. 48 hours of episodes. We are now on the second episode of season 2. Anyone who is an ALIAS fan knows that the show is all about secret plots, duel identities, tangled lives, great disguises, and hot guys (and one very hot girl who kicks butt). It is great fun. However, I am beginning to think that maybe I am being consumed by the ALIAS world and that it is changing my perspective on my realistic world. For example,

1. I am beginning to suspect my roommate of being a double-roomie, that the only reason she ever moved in with me is to gain access to my stocks.

2. I've been eyeing wigs lately, just in case I need to disguise myself.

3. I think I better carry my passport with me at all times in the event that I must leave the country quickly.

4. I now read my junk mail extremely close, for there may be secret codes woven in.

5. I really need a secret to keep, to add dimension to my character and make myself feel more mysterious (nothing comes to mind at the moment--dang it!)

6. I may install a phone bug to tap into the Shaw's calls, because I still suspect Mr. Shaw Sr. of being a secret agent.

7. I am working especially hard in my kick-boxing class so I will have no problem knocking out bad guys.

8. I need to buy a mysterious pair of sunglasses.

9. I plan to brush up on my Spanish and Italian because all good agents have to be fluent in at least three languages.

10. I better make the claim right here right now that I am NOT schitzofrenik!