Confessions of a Fauf

Monday, June 26, 2006

Chapter 18

Another chapter just closed in my life. I have retired my white 1997 Honda Accord and have updated to a 2006 Toyota Corolla! I am VERY excited. It was a great bargain. God is so gracious! Yet while I am celebrating this new chapter in my life, I must be sensitive to the feelings of my faithful white companion of so many years. In honor of my 'one accord', I must pen a beautiful eulogy.

Not much is known about Accord's early childhood, except to say it came from a family of good breeding, the Honda dynasty. But like so many good souls in this cruel world, Accord went through a trying time of abuse. Not wanting to focus too much on this sad tale, it must be said that brighter days were ahead. Accord ended up at a city auction where a pleansant owner set out to purchase it. At first Accord went through the line up and was sold to a menacing old man for $7000. The pleasant buyer was very disappointed, for she could not afford to bid higher than $7000. However, the Accord was meant to be hers, for the menacing old bidder backed out. Accord ran through the line up a second time. This time the pleasant bidder bid against an Asian buyer. They bid back and forth. Finally the bid got to $6000, the highest the pleasant bidder was able to go. The Asian buyer backed down and Accord was hers!

Accord enjoyed its pleasant owner who took it on many exciting trips as far away as the romantic city of Santa Maria. Accord served her faithfully for many years, rendering many fond memories. But like all great souls, Accord was doomed to mortality. Accord has aged considerably over the years so was not hurt when the pleasant owner decided to purchase a new car. Accord now enjoys retirement making local trips with the pleasant owner's benevolent brother.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

It's Better to Read the Book

Have you ever read a book that was totally engaging? So engaging that you couldn't wait to finish it because you knew the best part was the last chapter? Yet those last six chapters or so seemed sooo long because all you really wanted to do was skip ahead and read the last chapter. But you didn't because for one you kind of liked the momentum, and two you knew that would be cheating and you'd miss some key parts of the story. While it's been a long time since I've read a book that good, I sort of feel that way right now.

I am finishing up chapters of my life here in Redlands. I am anticipating the last chapter that will read "Farah moved to Santa Maria at the end of July to find that all her dreams came true. Sequel of her life to follow." But no, I'm still on the last six chapters or so of my life. Here's a quick synopsis on the last six chapters of "Fauf's Life in Redlands":

Chapter 12: Fauf's job at her church office ends. She begins to say god-byes at church.

Chapter 13: The Neverland House closes. Fauf packs up her teaching materials and turns in her keys belonging to her classroom. She anticipates re-opening the Neverland House at a new school in SM. (featured in the sequel)

Chapter 14: Fauf and her fantastic roomie-to-be check out their amazing-fireplace-included home. They are very excited about taking up residence there soon...but not yet.

Chapter 15: Fauf makes a few visits to SM which is feeling more and more like home, but again...not yet.

Chapter 16: Fauf begins daydreaming of her future fantastic life in SM where she can see Michael whenever she wants because a distance of no more than 20 miles will separate them. (Cingular, your days of romance domination are numbered!)

Chapter 17: the last chapter of Fauf's life in Redlands. Sorry, but I can't give away the ending!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Weekly Confession

A new week brings new confessions. If you are thinking right now, "More confessions? We had that last week. Why doesn't she write about something different?" Then I must remind you that the title of this blogspot is "Confessions of a Fauf". And I will further tell you "Get over it!" in a very nice voice because I do not want to lose any readers.

Confession 1: I did not know there was a "Farah Group". Thank you, Parker, for acting as Vice President for that group. Let me know if there is any way I can help out with that club.

Confession 2: I totally have a box of Otter Pops in my freezer. They are convenient to eat, they satisfy my beverage cravings, and they have hilarious flavor names. My favorite is Pancho Punch, which I do believe Nacho Libre would like best.

Confession 3: I was a little surprised by the definition of 'goober', but it does make sense. I refuse to acknowledge Kaleb's definition. But according to Parker's definition, I'm not sure Michael has always used the word correctly to describe someone.

Confession 4: I think my downstairs neighbor (who always seems unnaturally close) is a secret agent. I woke up this morning at 4am to the sound of his voice. He was talking on the phone. He sounded very much awake. I'm sure the secret intel he received from his contact was enough to get anyone up at that ungodly hour. Perhaps his contact is Mr. Shaw Senior...hmmm...

Confession 5: I am coming to visit Santa Maria this coming Friday--Tuesday. I am SO excited because I miss it SO much and MOST of all I miss Michael SO much! So THERE!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Apologies from a Fauf

It has been one week since my last confession. I am no longer working at my church office, so I do not so easily have internet access twice a week. Therefore my blogs will have to be limited to once a week. However, once school is out I will have more time to go to the library to update my confessions. Here are my latest:

Confession 1: I have been craving beverages this week like mad. Perhaps it's the hot weather, or the unnerving closeness of summer vacation. But I have needed a drink all the time. Any chance I get, I am buying myself drinks. I think I'm becoming a drink-aholic! Teas, coffees, juice, Otter Pops, water, you name it! Give me a drink!

Confession 2: I am SO over school. I have three more days to go, and then I'm officially over it. I can taste summer vacation. I'm yearning to stay up later. I'm pining to sit in coffee shops and read to my heart's content. Summer vacation cannot get here soon enough!

Confession 3: I'm still trying to define what a "goober" is. Michael uses that word to describe people all the time (even me at some times). But he won't define it for me. I think I might have met one the other day in Starbucks (when I was feeding my beverage binge). But I'm not sure....

Confession 4: I feel like a lost soul when I'm using the internet at the library. Smiley Library is beautiful and does make me smiley, but there are some strange people who come here to use the internet (maybe even some goobers). There are bag lady types, old bachelor types, annoying teen types. I wonder where I fit in? Or am I just a lost soul?

Confession 5: I am getting SO excited about moving to Santa Maria. And I'm VERY excited about visiting two (maybe three) weekends in a row! Hooray for summer vacation!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Breaking Up

I have to confess this blog I am about to write is making me very vulnerable. I feel a bit insecure about writing it because I feel there are far more competent people who should be writing this instead of me (namely one in particular). However, nothing is gained in life without risk, so here it goes. This is my first formal movie critic review. Today I went and saw "The Break Up" with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. (And randomly Anne Margret!)

Profanity: moderate to heavy (Vince likes to use GD alot. That buggegd me. And Jenn did use the F word once. She was pretty upset, but still doesn't justify it)

Sexual content: moderate to heavy. No sex scenes, but alot in conversations, some risque dancing, and one distant nude scene.

Violence: none, although there is alot of verbal battering and fighting b/c afterall it's about a break-up. I personally don't like conflict, so that bothered me after awhile.

Plot: Brooke and Gary have a huge fight b/c she feels he does not appreciate her and he never wants to do things to please and help her. He totally doesn't get it. They 'break up', but neither one will move out of the condo b/c they are both entitled to it. Brooke initiates a game of getting him back b/c she really doesn't want to break up with him, she just wants him to realize how great she is and genuinely want to fight for their relationship. But Gary is up for the challenge. As the movie progresses, they push each other farther away. Towards the end, they have a conversation (in which Brooke is crying--good stab at his heart) and Gary finally gets it. He realizes that he has been a selfish jerk (not just with her but with other people in his life). He redeems himself by cleaning up his act, putting others' interests first, and sort of proposing to Brooke. Yet Brooke refuses him, claiming she has nothing left to give. This is where the audience gives a long frustrated sigh. The one redeeming quality of the movie: the ending. It is not a typical ending, but somehow leaves everyone satisfied. The hopeless romantic who wants them to live happily ever after is given some hope; the hard-nosed realist who wants them to get on with their lives and who doesn't want to sit through another typically sappy ending is satisfied.

Critique: Jenn Aniston was hot, but she was a bit shallow. She fought, argued, and cried well, but beyond that her personality was so-so.
Vince Vaughn had some funny lines and moments, but after awhile he got a bit annoying almost to the point where he could be labeled J-E-R-K.
There were some very interesting and colorful supporting characters, but they sometimes got a bit over the top and generally were no one that you would care to have as friends.

So if you don't mind sharing in the conflict and heat of a break-up, if you stay amused by the ping-pong pace of girl gets a point, boy ties the score, girl gets ahead, boy ties again, girl---(you get the idea), and you find ill-given advice from sketchy friends adequate, then by all means see "The Break Up".

I give it a two star rating.

PS The funniest line of the movie is an expression that one of the friends uses "Cheese and rice!" That's about the only thing I'll take away from the movie.