Take This Test

This week is SAT testing for my poor 3rd graders. And I say poor because they have to endure these tests all week long. While some public school children may be quite accustomed to school testing throughout the year, our private school children are not. We believe in using class time to teach and learn...not fill in bubbles. However, we have to endure at least one week of it per year. I'm trying to lighten the mood by giving them little snacks, reading directions in a tone of enthusiasm, and assuring them that there is no pressure. (But there is a little because afterall if their test scores are average to high, then that means I've done my job this year). Or does it? Honestly some of these tests are a little random. And they always use these off-the-wall names to represent cultural diversity. Too bad I can't test them on what I think is important:

1. Captain Hook is giving you a spelling test. You didn't study and you're afraid that if you don't pass he'll make you walk the plank. You should
A. Write some answers on your hand
B. Look at the person next to you
C. Do your best

Obviously this is a question of morality between right and wrong. Don't you think this is what children should be tested on?

2. You're sailing the Jolly Roger out of the Neverland lagoon. You need to head west, but your compass is broken. You should
A. Locate the North Star and find west from there
B. Sit in port sulking over the broken compass
C. Give up sailing altogether

These types of practical and applicable science questions should be on the test

It's a huge wonder why the state has not put me in charge of writing the SAT tests. Hmmm....