Those Darn Pigeons!

I probably sound like an old woman who's lived in her house far too long...

But these darn pigeons are driving me nuts! They're roosting on our roof and chimney. I hear them not only cooing, but scratching and moving around on the roof tiles, and it's kinda freaking me out. When I look out on the roof from our bathroom window, I see tons of dried pigeon poop, and that aggravates me because I like a clean house and there's not much I can do about keeping a clean roof.

We enjoyed our little mother sparrow last month with her nest in our wreath, but that was not an invitation for all birds of a feather to flock together at the Manor. And pigeons are terminally stupid, so I doubt there's any reasoning with them to leave.

I am not the bird woman, but I would definitely pay someone more than tuppence a bird to exterminate them from the premises.

Suggestions???