Open Auditions

Because of my recent residence that will last only until Wednesday (ahem, Pine Inn in Carmel), I have been privy to a wider range of TV shows (the cottage yields only two channels). It has been quite enjoyable. Last night I indulged in Jon Stewart's Daily Show, along with Colbert's show--very entertaining. But the real indulgence has been in The View. Yes, some of you may have objections to this indulgence, but I am not ashamed to admit that I rather love the show. I mean, what's better than five stylish women bantering on about topics that don't really matter in everyday life? Again, I guess I just love people who get paid to give commentary on the world (I suppose my dream job!) I'm thinking of organizing my own version of the View. The stage can be the cottage porch. Now I need an older woman like Barbara Walters to give pearls of wisdom ("I recently attended a dinner with the ruler of Syria, and I found him and his wife quite wonderful, and...blah blah blah). I need a bullsy woman to shoot out quips while bobbing her red head like Joy ("Barbara, Italy called, they want their gondola back. I mean, what is with your outfit!"). And of course someone young and cute, but very conservative like Elizabeth ("I'm more of a McCain girl right now!"). And lastly two African-American women who will spice up the show like Whoopi ("I'm not that deep. I rarely research my roles") and Sherrie ("I know why they call it white-water rafting--we were the only black people out there in the water!") (I suppose they don't have to be African-American). Consider this my official casting call! I'm also up for good titles....

The Porch
The Cottage Girls
The Banter
The Commentators