Confessions of a Fauf

Thursday, February 19, 2009

New Fan Clubs

The other day I was working out at the gym (yes, Fauf does that occaisionally, at least twice a week) and this girl had on a black T-shirt with white writing. As I lifted those bicept curls, my eyes wandered from the instructor to first the clock (when was this torture going to end?!), then to the girl's shirt. I almost laughed out loud when I read it:

"Official 'I love Edward Cullen' Fan Club Member"

Anyone who keeps up with American pulp culture knows who Edward Cullen is...that dreamy vampire hero from the Twilight saga engrossing everyone from 5th graders to our moms!

Now I didn't laugh because of course that would have been rude and also it would have interrupted my regimented breathing pattern. I couldn't help but think how ridiculous it was. And I am sure that the girl really was a member. Then it got me thinking about random fan clubs I could join and make T-shirts for. Here are a few equally ridiculous ones I came up with (for anyone in love with Edward Cullen, I do think he's a great character and Rob Pattison pulled off the dreamy look in the movie very well...but I'm married. End of dicussion)

"Official 'I love Katie Marzulo' Fan Club Member" (our local kcoy news anchor)
"Official 'I love Vanna White' Fan Club Member" (I'd like to buy a vowel)
"Official 'I love Stanly Steamers' Fan Club Member" (they get carpets cleaner)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Bring It On, 2009!

I think that February is the official New Year month for the Fauf and her Ig. In the Shaw house, January stunk...because we didn't have a house, really. But February promised to be a month of new things and indeed it is turning out to be quite delightful. Must I list reasons? Why not? I feel like making a list of happy thoughts...who doesn't, Scrooge?

1. We have a HOUSE, and everyday I wake up and declare "I love our house!"
2. Just started teaching Performing Arts at Alice Shaw and it's really fun
3. Got Ig a bike for Valentine's so now we can both jaunt around our hood
4. Rain, rain, rain, don't go away. It finally feels like winter!
5. Great friends who have been so helpful and considerate in our move, etc. Thanks, everyone!
6. Chiropractic treatment is doing wonders! Thank you, Lord and Dr. Pierce. The Fauf has never felt better!
7. Been re-energized to pursue my creative endeavors like finish a painting and go back to writing my kids book
8. A list of new books to read this year
9. Falling more in love with my hubby everyday
10. And rejoicing in the Lord for His promises and His goodness! Hallelujah!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Pearls for You

Whew! We FINALLY got our house. We're moved in and are reaping the fruits of our long labor in getting it. In keeping with the trend of this ridiculous escrow, we didn't get final confirmation of the house until the LAST minute of the LAST day. Now that I am a homeowner who endured the ugly process, I feel obliged to warn my fellow house-seekers, or anyone entertaining the thought. Please learn from my ridiculous escrow:

1. Do NOT use North American Title Company for your escrow company (very slow and careless)
2. Use an in-county escrow service b/c each county has different rules for closing a house
3. Assign a speed-dial for your realtor's number, loan broker's number, and escrow contact's number--call them frequently
4. Avoid using a co-signer
5. Avoid a bank-owned property if you can
6. Fix EVERYTHING (even a toilet chain) in the house you're buying asap (even a toilet chain can hold up your loan)
7. Be sure to give escrow ALL your insurance info on the new house
8. Don't pack until your loan documents have been ordered
9. Turn in EVERYTHING on time and a little before (so if you have to get an escrow extension or two, it won't be your fault and you won't have to pay a penalty.)
10. And lastly but most importantly, nag, nag, NAG until you get what you need

Based on my experience, I would advise against going into escrow unless you're willing to be assertive, organized, and patient. If you are still intent on buying a house, then I wish you the best and shall pray for you that your process is a smoother one than mine.

And now I may close the door on this unique and grisly chapter of my life, known as escrow.

It is finished!